Domestic Abuse Screening Questionnaire
This questionnaire is adapted from "Take This Test" on Dr. Susan
Not to People Like Us, which examines domestic violence in upscale
marriages. There is a parallel between domestic abuse in upscale
marriages and in the Assemblies due to the
similar narcissistic profile of the abusers.
Do you. . .?
Isolate yourself from others in order to hide from others how your mate treats
- Fear that you will be disbelieved or rejected by others if others find out
what is happening in your relationship with your spouse?
- Find yourself anxiously trying to predict or anticipate your mate's moods
- Feel like you are constantly working on trying to please your spouse so that
he won't become angry and treat you cruelly?
If you have answered "yes" to three or more of these questions, be diligent.
You may be at the beginning of the path of domestic abuse.
Does your spouse. . .?
- Make impossible demands of you (e.g. how you should look, behave, how much
you should weigh, etc.)?
- Humiliate or belittle you in front of others?
- Threaten you verbally (e.g. he will hurt the children, leave you, etc.)?
Subject you to verbal rage attacks and constant criticism?
These are methods of intimidation.
Escalation. . .?
If intimidation no longer works to control you,
your spouse will gradually escalate to physical violence.
- Has your spouse begun hurting you during sex? This often marks the
transition to physical violence.
- Do you have injuries or bruises as a result of your spouse's actions?
- Does your spouse bully, frighten you or threaten your well-being or your
loved ones' well-being in any way?
- Does your spouse exhibit rage or lose his temper?
- Does your spouse hit, push, shove, choke, strike you?
If you have said "yes" to one or more of these,
you should be strongly concerned
with the possibility that you are being abused. Without question, it would be
prudent for you to seek professional assistance from someone trained in handling
Other Potential Indicators of Domestic Abuse
Do You. . .?
Feel ashamed and embarrassed because you feel that your spouse treats you
Think that abuse such as this "doesn't happen to Christians like us"?
- Try to make excuses for or cover up your spouse's actions? (to yourself or
Find yourself making excuses for staying in your relationship based upon your
church's teaching about submission and/or divorce?
Does Your Spouse. . .?
- Make you doubt your own abilities and
self worth by criticizing or making demeaning attacks on you? (e.g. on your
femininity, sexuality, appearance, parental behaviors and/or housekeeping
- Show little remorse nor seek forgiveness after exhibiting any or all of
Believe he can "get away with anything" and deserves special treatment because
he is so special? Use your church's teaching about male privilege to justify his
Use money and power as a leverage or threat?
Carefully evaluate your answers to these questions, and become informed on this
Above all. . .
If you think you or your loved ones may be in danger, get help or consult a
professional immediately. SAFETY FIRST - IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE!
Assembly wives were purposefully trained to believe that many
of the behaviors listed above are okay, even godly and necessary. Keep in mind
that the three individuals most responsible for the twisted Assembly teaching on
marriage - George, Betty and David Geftakys - were supporting a hidden agenda to
cover up David's ongoing domestic violence.
Please read the following articles for clarification on the scriptural
view of marriage:
A Real Marriage by Jeff VanVonderen
Christian Husbands by Warren Doud
Mature Husbands and Fathers based on a book by Mark Bryan.
For further reading on domestic abuse, see:
Verbal Abuse Part 1: What Is It?
Abuse Part 2: What Can You Do About It?
Verbal Abuse Part 3: Is There More to It?