As his mother looked on in amazement, little George "Georgie" Geftakys was lifted from harms way Wednesday by a Giant Hand which appeared literally out of nowhere. "I couldn't believe it," said Georgie's Mom, "I had just given little Georgie his daily foot massage, when I noticed some of my money was missing.
"I went to the window to ask him if he'd taken it, when I saw him wandering in the lanes of traffic. He was walking like he thought he was invincible or something--he always likes to dress up and pretend he's the Apostle Paul you know," she added. "I started to scream, when I saw this Giant Hand coming down out of the sky and pick him up and put him on the sidewalk. It was a miracle!!!" she cried.
Georgie's Uncle Fritz confirmed the story. "I had just gotten back from a trip to Mexico, when Frieda (Georgie's mom) and I decided to try some of the mushrooms I'd gathered there. It must have been about 15 minutes later when I heard Frieda scream and I joined her at the window. Sure as day I saw that Giant Hand too--it was manicured and must have been about 15 feet long. I also saw a giant frog that...."
Frieda interrupted him at this point and spoke of how grateful she was that little Georgie was alive and so well cared for. "He's a little saint" she said. "How could I ever have suspected him of stealing my money?" she asked incredulously. "Surely the gods are watching out for my little Georgie," she said. "If you'd like to make a donation to show your appreciation for Georgie's miraculous experience you can place the money in the wooden chest with the slot in the top by the front door."
No-one other than Fritz and Frieda saw the Giant Hand, but the neighbors claim that they believe, and come to listen to Georgie daily as he recites verses from the Bible while dressed in a cloak and sandals. Little Georgie refused to comment, but appears grateful just the same.
I personally believe that George is a victim of WHD which afflicts most people later in life, but can begin in childhood due to some traumatic or awe-inspiring experience.
WHD (Willful Heretic Disorder) may have afflicted George after he wandered into traffic as a young child and was rescued by a Giant Hand. A deep feeling of superiority may have overtaken little George (through no fault of his own), and he fell into a form of psychosis which disabled him greatly. Feeling he was an "Apostle" or some other great Luminary, he felt led to gather others around him, that he might dominate them and use them through his false presentation of real teachings.
But as psychology teaches, none of us is really responsible for his own actions--all of our problems, failings and negative actions towards others are a result of something that happened in our childhood, and because of our parents. George's heresy, alas, is not something he is responsible for--it was his childhood, his Mom, the Giant Hand, that caused it all. Let's all cut George a break and hope he can get the counseling he so desperately needs---the poor guy.
Residents of Wilby Ave. in Riverside were startled by the sounds of screaming and pandemonium on Tuesday, as a small religious "fringe" group Bible study ended abruptly with an exodus of rabid fear from their meeting place on this normally quiet and peaceful street.
Shirley Tripp, a last-minute attendee to the meeting, and an eyewitness, gave us this account:
"We had finished a small meal of Mole' chicken with mushrooms and gravy that George's Uncle Fritz had prepared for us," said Shirley. (George Geftakys is the aged leader of this religious fringe group.) "It was a recipe from Mexico. I didn't have time to eat any but I hear it was awfully good. And then Fritz got up and began to talk about George. He mentioned George's childhood and amazing rescue from traffic when he was very small."
"Then Fritz introduced George and said, 'Let's all give George a great big hand'. As the applauding began George began to look distressed. Then he looked up and screamed, 'A great big hand?? No!! No!! Please, go away!! Please don't put me back into the traffic!!' He jumped up and made his way towards the door shouting, 'I'll pay it back, I'll pay it all back, I promise!!' Then he grabbed the treasury box and jumped into his car and sped off. Then everyone else started screaming too, and started running down the street," she commented.
Shirley stated that she had not seen the Giant Hand personally. "I never saw it," she said, "But Uncle Fritz did for sure. He said it was about fifteen feet long, manicured, and holding a paddle," she added. When questioned further she stated, "He said it looked like one of those paddles the Vice Principal used to use to give bad boys a swat".
Since the occurrence no one has seen Brother George or his fearful followers. "He's hiding" says Shirley, "but that Giant Hand is still out there looking for him". The neighbors of Wilby St. can now rest a bit easier, but the mystery of the Giant Hand continues.