Monroe the Jackass

Joe Sperling, from the San Fernando Assembly

Hello. My name is Monroe the Jackass. I just came back from a wonderful two week vacation, in which I fished quite a bit and did some reading. (I know you probably are having a hard time believing a jackass can cast a lure, but I truly have become quite proficient at it). I had the time to read The Age of Alexander, by Plutarch, and The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, which I had never read before, and found to be quite interesting. (Wilde had a very humorous way of attacking politicians and elitists in his writings.)

Jackasses are interesting creatures, actually. Jesus rode one of them into Jerusalem during his triumphal entry into Jerusalem, and it took a jackass to warn Balaam of the awful crime he was committing against Israel. Jesus is the great shepherd of the sheep, but at times he needs to herd jackasses, too, because sheep can turn into them when they become stubborn and think they know it all.

I should know. Jesus knows his sheep and calls them by name. I used to have quite a beautiful name, until I began to think I knew it all and turned into a jackass. Monroe the Jackass, to be more precise. Jesus said that when I learn to be nicer to the other sheep, he'll let me be one once again. Actually, I still am a sheep, but I act and speak just like a jackass.

There are other jackasses, and we all "hee-haw" at each other all day. The sheep drink cool, delicious water, and lie down on green grass, while we jackasses feel the need to hee haw at the sheep and at the other jackasses, too. It's amazing, though, to watch how a sheep who starts to call other sheep "jackasses" immediately turns into a jackass himself. I should know. Well, here comes my clump of hay for the day. Look at those stupid sheep lying over there---what a bunch of jackasses.

Monroe the Jackass