The 3HO Dysfunctional Family - How I Figured It Out
Conclusion
After reading this I hope you can see the correlation between the dynamics of dysfunctional families and that of abusive groups regardless of religious affiliation. The only conclusion could be that when a group becomes abusive, it is no longer about God but rather about feeding the addictions of a few in the name of God.
As I have said before, I do believe that the average saint does wish to follow and serve God. I also believe you can become a Christian by receiving Christ as your savior regardless of where you heard the gospel. However, I do not believe that if serving God is your true wish you can continue to stay involved with the Assembly and thereby support it. I believe that there is only one way for repentance and healing to occur in the Assembly: that is by its dissolution.
The saints should seek fellowship in healthy Christian groups. Those in leadership should publicly repent before the saints, ask forgiveness of those whose lives they have affected, whether in "fellowship" or not, step down and seek fellowship, not leadership, with other healthy Christian groups. The Workers should do the same as the leadership and also find real jobs.
George and Betty, Tim and Ginger and David Geftakys should all step down, publicly repent and in humility, attempt to make right the horrendous abuse that has permeated their family by counseling and financial support to their daughter-in-law who served faithfully for so long. Elizabeth and Dawn (Geftakys) should also seek counseling for children of abuse as they have grown up in an abusive family and are likely to continue the cycle of abuse, passing it on to the own small children.
George and Betty should be honest as to their pasts and as to the lies they told regarding this. (Under other circumstances, I might say past sins are in the past but because George and Betty have lied about their past in order to gain authority and power over other’s lives, I believe this step is essential). They should find fellowship in a place where there are people they can consider their peers (seeing as George has often stated, "I have no peers" in the Assembly)
I don’t really expect any of these steps to be taken, but I still pray that they will. I pray this not only for the sake of those perpetrating the abuse and the saints trying to find God in a place where he is not, but also for the children. There is a generation of children growing up in that place. They have no choice as to what their lives are like. They are at the mercy of, you, their parents.
I lived through what I did, because my parents refused to acknowledge the evil they witnessed and were involved in. Their desire to maintain the illusion of spiritual superiority and to stay in a place that made them feel as though they were really serving God cost me dearly. It is costing your children. They are growing up seeing abuse and believing not only is it normal but spiritually superior, godly, and holy. Even if you do not beat your wife or kids, they see abuses around them and they see you continuing to remain in that place. Your actions say that the place where they are seeing the abuse is a good place to be. After all, they don’t think you would place them in a bad or unsafe place.
I implore you. If you did not know of these things before, do not go into denial now. Do not believe that you will change them on your own by simply praying, or confronting the leadership. You will simply be told more lies. If you have known and done nothing, do not continue in your denial. It is costing you even if you do not clearly see how. Your silent complicity is searing your conscience and corrupting your soul. It is also affecting your children.
It is a scary world out there. A lot of us got into the Assembly because we felt guilty from bad choices we had made. We felt unable to effectively control our lives and it was so much easier to give the controls over to someone else. We allowed ourselves to be convinced that we were really giving the controls over to God.
Well, when you give control to God, he doesn’t do what has been done in the Assembly. However, you can walk with God and have fellowship with other Christians (something that is not truly happening in the Assembly). There are a lot of places to find fellowship and you will be surprised to see they are not compromised. There are a lot of dear Christians in other places that can be a real source of support and encouragement to you, in your life and in your walk with the Lord.
There are also great groups that have strong supports for your children as they grow up, to steer them towards Christ while learning to become adults who choose Christ and become who God made them. You will find that there really is a life where you are "Free at last, free at last. Thank God I’m free at last." There is a life available full of true peace, true joy, not manufactured.
You know the truth now and are faced with a decision. I pray you choose truth and freedom, not lies, denial, and bondage.
