Dear Wounded Pilgrim,
Yes, one book that you should read is The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse. I think this is the best book in describing the way the abusive system works. I underlined about every word in the book. I would encourage others reading here to take some time to think read it through.
God can teach us some wonderful lessons from our experiences in the Assembly (no thanks to them) that can make us more like the Good Samaritan in my story: compassionate, caring, healing, truthful, courageous, etc. When we ignore thinking through our experiences, or take the "sunny side" approach, I think we could remain in the same shallow state that we were in while in the Assembly.
Depth with God comes from a greater knowledge of His love at the cross; not just in a propositional way, but by knowing that love is His love for me. As I trust in His love, that sets me free. I have no fear of being completely honest with God. He knows and He understands and He still wants to draw us close. I think the "little-big-man" in the Good Samaritan story learned from his experience, starting with the Samaritan and ending with Jesus, how God loves him. That transformed the way he looked at others, and his effectiveness in bringing the Gospel to others as well.
Now I belong to Jesus,God Bless,
Jesus belongs to me; Not for the years of time alone, But for eternity.