Creative Writing and Humor

Computer keyboard Allegories
                                   --mostly by FAM's, written during and after the implosion

Allegories, Parodies, Satire

"Moonflower" posted Assembly lyrics to the tune "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon on the now-defunct Rest for the Weary website, June 24, 2003. It's called We Chewed Gum.

Brent T. wrote about the assemblies currently meeting in an allegory, The Olympic Gym.

Dave Sable wrote a satirical mock news report on George visiting the West Los Angeles Assembly.

Dave S. parodies G. G.'s rhetoric in fond remembrance of our dear brother from the Assemblyboard in May, 2009.

Monroe the Jackass, by Joe S., is a satirical little piece about elitism from the Assemblyboard.

The Desecration of GG, to the tune of "Holy, Holy, Holy," was posted some time ago on the Assemblyboard.

Rudolph, the Berean-Minded Brother, a parody by the Cisco Kid, first appeared on the Assemblyboard.

'Twas the Night Before the Winter Seminar is a parody by "Reconciled", first posted on the Assemblyboard.

An April Fools Day Memorandum by "Blue Jay" re-posted from the Assemblyboard.

The TV show "South Park" aired an episode called "Trapped in the Closet," featuring Tom Cruise and the dangers of Scientology. To see the episode online, try Scientomogy.

Fiction and Essays

Dave S. tells about Screwtape visiting an Assembly seminar and having some advice for his nephew Wormwood.

Joe S. wrote hilarious satire, Little Georgie and the Giant Hand, based on G. Geftakys' often-repeated story about being miraculously rescued as a child from certain death in traffic.

Al H. writes about a newcomer's thoughts on Assembly love.

Mark Campbell retells the story of the Good Samaritan in the context of the Assembly.

Elizabeth H. posted a satirical little piece on church hunting on the Assemblyboard.

An anonymous "Assembly kid" wrote a very angry essay in the form of a fictionalized dream. She says,  "Let me open it up and listen in and scoop out the dark."


"Torey" wrote several poems at the approach of the third anniversary of George Geftakys' excommunication: "Black and White," and "God's Character," "Vigil," "Moving ," "Healing Things," "Remains," "The Hardest Thing," "Worldview," "At Three Years," "Quizzical Eyes." "Torey" later wrote another poem, "Sunday Morning Five Years Later". "Torey" submitted some of these poems to the 2008 Phoenix Project sponsored by the International Cultic Studies Association, and received a letter of appreciation for the contribution.

Judy F., formerly of the Fullerton Assembly, wrote a poem dedicated to all the saints who believe their own eyes and knew unconditional love was not being expressed.

A former Assembly member has written a poem, Return From Exile, describing the intense feelings of shock and disorientation following the sudden demise of the assemblies.  It reveals the fear implanted by the Assembly system.

Kathryn A., formerly of the Chicago Assembly, wrote this poem the day after George Geftakys was excommunicated, asking him some painful questions.

Mary W., at age 17, wrote a moving poem about her deliverance from the Assembly in Omaha.

Christina K. wrote "You Are Loved, My Son", a poem addressed in the first person from God the Father to the Christian.

Here is an anonymous poem of regret for a lost love by a former Assembly member. Folks for whom a love relationship was negated by the Assembly will relate.

A grown-up Assembly Kid writes a poem about the struggle to find his true identity.

Miscellaneous Humor

Here is the Bob Newhart version of the Assembly "death to self" teaching. Hilarious! Hat tip to Assemblyboard poster "trac4yt".

YouTube rehab humor: Denial with a capital "D" - any similarity to the Assembly Leadership denying what/when they knew about David G.'s spousal abuse?

Second Person of the Trinity cartoon.

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